No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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