Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
