that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize