Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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