Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
