It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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