Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
