I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
