3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
