Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
