oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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