I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
