how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
