Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Randomize
