Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
