I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
