At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
