your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
