office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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