You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
