i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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