love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
