that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Randomize
