I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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