Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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