Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
