I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
