do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Randomize
