Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
