her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
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