Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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