Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
