That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
last night I used snow as a chaser
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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