I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize