Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
