Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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