So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
