last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
This baby is an asshole
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Randomize
