Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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