So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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