I want to have your abortion
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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