Only a mothe r could love this liver
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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