You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Floor bacon is actually really good
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
