Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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