i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
