I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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