my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
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