i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
