I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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