Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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