My vagina just recognized that song.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
