This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
