I looked at my own cervix.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
