omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
