remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize