apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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