I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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