he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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