I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
