hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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