I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
