Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize