I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
