yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize