im about as happy as oj after his trial
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
