By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
