If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
