Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
